“My husband (or wife) is so different from me. We don’t have anything in common.” If this rings a bell, congratulations, you and your spouse are opposites. Your differences make your marriage stronger.
How Differences Make Your Marriage Stronger
How can our differences make our marriage stronger and be good for us? Stop, and think about it for a minute. If you married someone just like you, then
- You wouldn’t have to leave your comfort zone
- You wouldn’t have to grow
- You wouldn’t have to experience life through someone else’s perspective
Believe it or not, there is a reason that opposites attract. It’s good for us!
Iron Sharpens Iron
You need them in your marriage to help you become the person that God created you to be. In Proverbs 27:17, Solomon writes “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” DIfferences in marriage make you stronger because it is God’s way of perfecting you.
The differences you experience with your spouse can add richness, depth, and texture to your marriage if you learn to embrace and celebrate them. They can also be your biggest asset. The areas in which you are weak, they are strong, and vice versa. Together, you make a sweet aroma.
Follow these three steps to renew your mind and celebrate the way your differences make your marriage stronger.
First, Identify Your Differences
Be specific. Look beyond the usual differences. For example, what personality type are you both? Not sure, find out here. These type of tests give you insight into areas such as:
- How you approach the world (Extrovert or Introvert)
- How you gather information (Intuitive or Sensing)
- The way you make decisions (Feeling or Thinking)
- Your approach to structure (Judging or Perceiving)
A personality test will help you determine the smaller differences that you may not realize.
From these tests, and your years of observing each other, you can better learn the specific ways that you differ. They help you understand each other better and opens up an applicable place for grace and mercy to thrive.
Second, Acknowledge the Differences
Once you have identified the ways how you differ,
- Acknowledge them.
- Accept them.
- Celebrate them (in real time).
For example, If one of you is an extrovert (people energizes them) and the other an introvert (prefers being alone), recognize those needs and compromise.
Third, Celebrate the Differences
Instead of resenting how you differ, use them! What better way to make a team function at full capacity. Because you are opposite, you have many more tools and talents to access than if you were the same.
It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps…” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 The Message)
The differences make your marriage stronger because God has arranged a way for you to balance each other out. Isn’t that wonderful!
God Knows What We Need
The Lord is sovereign. He knows our needs even before we do. It’s no accident that God led you to someone who is your opposite. He knew that your differences would make your marriage stronger and help you reach your full potential.
Eagle Family Ministries partners with God to help couples reach their full potential by offering fun marriage retreats, Christian marriage conferences, and relationship coaching. We also provide premarital counseling to help engaged couples start a strong foundation for marriage.