Does it ever feel like you go through seasons of continually butting heads in your marriage? If so, it could be just the differences between men and women shining through. It’s good that we aren’t all the same, but we must choose to learn each other’s differences and then decide to work through them.

Here are ten key differences between a husband and wife.

Note: The following differences are general and in no way a hard rule. 

Physically

Men and women’s brains connect differently. Men predominantly use the left side, while women tend to be more balanced between the two hemispheres. For this reason, women are usually better at multi-tasking, while men typically focus on one thing at a time until completion.

Money

Men and women tend to approach the subject of money differently. One will be more apt to pay full price for something they need, while another may buy something they don’t need because it’s on sale. Whichever category you and your spouse fall into, remember to keep the lines of communication open and stay within the family budget.

Relationally

Men and women are relationally different. Men prefer to “do things together.” On the other hand, women build a relationship by sharing emotions. The goal is the same, but men and women go about it differently.

Verbally

Verbal communication is one of the most significant differences between men and women isn’t that they speak different languages, but that they differ in style. Here’s what we mean:

Men tend to use more concise, short language, while women lean toward a lengthy, detailed manner. Think of it this way, men are bullet points, and women are paragraphs.

You can build a bridge for each other. First, you must be aware of it. Then, both must learn to adapt to their style.

Needs

Men and women don’t have the same needs. These differences are one of the most important and most overlooked in a marriage. We can’t meet our spouse’s needs the same way we meet our own. If you aren’t sure what your husband or wife’s needs is, ask! Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage.

Values

Values are the areas of life we find worthy of time and energy. Early in marriage, a husband and wife may have very different values. The longer you’re married, the likely many of your values will line up, if for nothing else, to love and serve each other more.

Also, learn to value what is important to the other.

Motivationally

What motivates men isn’t necessarily what motivates women. A woman tends to desire nurturing, connection, and support. Men lean toward protecting, pursuing, and defending. Because of these differences, their fears are not the same. Men fear disrespect and failure, and women fear isolation.

Responding to Fears

Because of different fears, men and women respond differently. Dishonor causes a man to fight or fly out of a stressful situation. However, the fear of isolation will cause a woman to share with others who relate to them. Both responses can cause more chaos rather than peace.

Activities

When planning a date night, keep in mind that you and your spouse may see romance a bit different. Generally, men like to be more active while women prefer talking and relational activities. Try to incorporate both into date night. It may be challenging, but embrace it and be creative!

Affection

Last, but not least, affection. If you asked a husband a wife why they pursued a relationship at the beginning, the answers wouldn’t be the same. Men tend to want to date a woman because he thinks she’s beautiful inside and out.  A woman might say that it was emotional. You made her feel good.

Men, the more you give to her emotionally, the more you’ll see that vibrant woman in which you first fell in love.

Differences Between Men and Women in Marriage

The differences may be challenging at times, but it can also be beautiful. All it takes is time, willingness to learn, and adapting to them, but it’s so worth it.

Thank goodness God didn’t’ make us all the same!

Do you need help learning skills to improve your marriage? Or need a romantic weekend getaway? Check out our romantic Christian marriage retreats and conferences. At Eagle Family Ministries, our goal is to help married, and pre-married couples grow into beautiful, healthy marriages that last a lifetime. 479.464.4442

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