Whether you were married fifty years ago or are a newlywed, every man can agree that being a husband is tough. You aren’t without hope, however. God designed and arranged His Word to help fulfill your duties as a Christian husband.
Every husband is a leader. That’s not the question. What is, though, is what kind of a leader are you?
The Bible gives us the perfect model, Jesus, who led by example with integrity. What does that look like? Leading your wife and family well means leading honestly, faithfully, humbly, sacrificially, protectively, and lovingly.
Love might be the most misunderstood word today. When Jesus and the Gospel aren’t the foundation of love, all endeavors to define it are fruitless and empty. Genuine love is self-sacrificial and self-giving. It gives to another for their good regardless of how they respond, even when nothing comes in return.
So how do you love like Jesus?
First, it must be sacrificial. Sacrificial love surrenders your wishes and desires so that she’s blessed.
Second, it must be unwavering. Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. It flows from the will and stems from the heart—the command center of a man.
Third, it must be a dying love. Christ did it. And so must husbands learn to “die to self.”
Fourth, it must prioritize. Love puts her above everything else—work, children, hobbies, TV, football, and yourself. It’s not enough to “affirm it” verbally. You must demonstrate it. Would she say that you prioritize her before anything or anyone else?
Fifth, it must be soul-sanctifying. Any man can make lots of money and call that “love.” But it’s not. A husband who loves His wife like Jesus remembers what’s the priority—his wife’s heart. The primary duties of a Christian husband are to shepherd and care for and nurture his wife’s soul. He is the pastor of their home.
Follow Jesus, your glorious Bridegroom, and love your precious wife with the same fervor, care, tenderness, and selflessness that He has done for you.
When you first met your wife, you spent countless hours learning her. The wedding ceremony does’ mean that understanding one another is complete. Rather, it’s only just launched! What does it look like to learn your wife?
First, learn her intentionally.
Intentionally learning her means being deliberate and proactive in reaching her heart and learning more about her. Ask questions, pursue her, and date her.
Second, learn her emotionally.
Women change as seasons of life come and go. You have the wonderful privilege of knowing, learning, and seeking how she’s doing on the inside.
Third, learn her repeatedly.
Learning her is an ongoing pursuit. It’s relentless and undying. Ask heart-searching questions regularly and throughout your life together.
Fourth, learn her studiously.
Men tend to study many things for their careers and interests more than they study their wives. But it ought not to be. Seek to understand the “why” of what she thinks, speaks, does, react, and lives the way she does. Get settled in because it won’t be easy or quick. It’s a life-long pursuit, but so worth it.
Fifth, learn her pursuantly.
Marital harmony, deep oneness, and happiness in marriage don’t automatically happen. Tragically, couples can be married for many years and not know much about one another.
Sixth, learn her cheerfully.
Your wife is a wonderful blessing from God, but few women would say that they feel adequately pursued by their husbands. Take joy in studying her. Go deep with her. Tenderly embrace who she is as a person. Affirm her verbally and constantly.
Duties of a Christian Husband
As a Christian husband, your duty is to lead well, love well, and continue to learn your wife. Husbands who do are better equipped to know their wives’ wants, fears, anxieties, struggles, interests, and what satisfies them. All of which help you lead with integrity and achieve the life-long marriage that glorifies God.
Stay tuned for more about the duties of Christian Husbands. We’re just getting started. Don’t worry, ladies, we have a handbook coming just for you too.
At Eagle Family Ministries, we offer a wide variety of Christian marriage retreats and Christian marriage conferences for married couples of all ages. You can attend on your own or schedule a marriage conference or marriage retreat for your church. We’ll even custom design a marriage conference for your church regardless of your location in the United States.
Please, contact us and let’s visit about your ideas and needs today! 479.464.4442