How do you know how you’re doing when it comes to listening to your wife? Could your wife be silently communicating that she desperately needs you to hear her? Here are five clues to look for in your relationship.
Five Clues For Husbands
1. Bitter, Angry Words and Nagging
If your wife’s tone or words drip with animosity, it could be a clue that she doesn’t feel you listen. These kinds of words are not only challenging to listen to but can make your wife the last person you want to talk to. However, Jesus didn’t shy away from messy emotions. He says that it’s the sick who need a doctor, not the healthy. (Mark 2:17) Behind all the animosity could be a broken heart.
2. She Stops Telling You What She Needs
Has your wife stopped sharing her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs? If so, you might be lacking in the listening department. You may think she doesn’t need you because she can take care of everything by herself. However, it could be that she does need help. But, for whatever reason, she’s having a hard time expressing how you can help, or she fears you won’t meet her needs.
3. Constantly Talking to Her Girlfriends
Unless she’s highly introverted or an internal processor, your wife needs someone who will listen. She desires someone who will hear her thoughts and emotions. If you’re not listening to your wife, she’ll find someone who will.
Note: If your wife is extremely introverted, your clue could be that she withdraws even more.
4. Tries to Earn Your Affection
Is she bending over backward to make you happy? Does she walk around on eggshells to avoid making you angry, upset, or disappointed? If so, she may be trying to earn your love by doing everything right so that maybe you’ll see or hear her.
5. Withholds Things She Freely Gave
Does your wife withhold sex? Has she stopped doing things for you that she used to do? Or, does she only do them out of obligation, and you can tell they aren’t an expression of her love for you anymore? It’s hard to give when you’re empty. If you recognize this, your wife may be missing that emotional connection.
Listening to Your Wife
Genuinely hearing each other is critical to the health of your marriage and your wife’s well-being. If you notice these behaviors in your spouse and are unsure of how to tune back in, ask for help. Talk to your pastor, counselor, or trusted friend. Acknowledging the communication gap between you goes a long way in repairing your relationship.
Wives, do you recognize any of these clues in your actions? If so, stay tuned for our next article. We’ll cover how you can better communicate your needs to your husband. Sign up for our newsletter so you won’t miss it!
Do you help? Eagle Family Ministries offers a variety of Christian marriage retreats and conferences for married couples of all ages. We can help you learn valuable listening and communication skills, along with many other topics, for a successful marriage.
Being a good listener in marriage is means you are quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).