Conversation starters are an excellent way to ask tough questions without awkwardness and build intimacy in the marriage.

How is a Conversation Defined?

Merriam Webster defines a conversation as an “oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas. By this definition, many marriages aren’t communicating much at all. Letting your spouse know the weekly schedule or what the kids are up to is hardly an exchange.

True communication requires a back and forth of deep topics. Conversation starters can help build a new relationship or help bring life back into established ones. Here’s how to create more intimacy through conversation starters.

Conversation Starters to Deepen Your Relationship

Step One. Set a specific day and time to talk. Make sure it’s free of distraction from electronics or kids. Focus on each other and make it meaningful.

Step Two. Use this list to open up communication between each other.

Fun Questions

  1. If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name, and where would you go?
  2. What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?
  3. Would you rather go into the past and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great-great-grandchildren?
  4. Would you rather live in Antarctica or the Sahara Desert? Why?
  5. What did you do for fun as a kid that you’d love to do again?
  6. Is cereal a soup? Why or why not?
  7. If our love story were a book, what would be its title?
  8. If you could acquire any skill instantly, what would it be and why?
  9. What is your favorite childhood memory?
  10. As a couple or family, are we more invested in our eternal home or our early one? What are some ways we could be better stewards of our time, finances, and talents?
  11. When it comes to the future, is there anything that you fear or worry about?
  12. What is the most ridiculous thing you know?

Deeper Questions

  1. What 5 words would you choose that sum up who you are? Ask your spouse to add 1 word after you list 5.
  2. Is there an area of our life or relationship that you feel could use more adventure?
  3. What are the first 3 things you look forward to or hope for when you think of the future?
  4. How would you rate your satisfaction with our sex life on a scale of 1-5? 1 = dissatisfied and 5 = over the moon. What would each of us need to do to improve our satisfaction in this area?
  5. In what ways can I be more encouraging to you?
  6. What do you wish we did less of as a couple or family?
  7. If God could do one big thing in your heart or life, what would you want it to be? Have you been in prayer for this?
  8. What things do I do for you that refresh you the most?
  9. Have you felt discouraged recently? In what way?
  10. How have you been encouraged recently?
  11. What do you wish we did more as a couple or family?
  12. Have you felt challenged to grow/make an effort to change? How and what actions can you take to move toward that? In what ways can I help you with this?
  13. What is something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t? Make a list and share it.
  14. Of the things on your list from question #13, which one are you most looking forward to and why?
  15. What have you learned to appreciate about me that you didn’t know when we first married?
  16. Are there any experiences you have already done that you would want to do again? Would you do the same or change something?
  17. What is the most personal way God has spoken to you?
  18. How well do you think our sex drives match up?
  19. What do I do in bed that drives you wild?

Stay Tuned for More!

Every month we’ve been sharing conversation starters on our social media. We thought it was time to put them in one place for you. Don’t worry; there’s more to come. Follow us on Facebook or Instagram to get them when they post.

Do you need help creating better communication in your marriage? Eagle Family Ministries offers fun marriage retreats, relationship coaching, and premarital counseling to help couples build the thriving marriage God designed you to have.