Fun: The Marriage That Plays Together, Stays Together
Fun Around Us
When we are young, everything revolves around having fun. We are not serious about anything other than how long before we can play again.
I like to watch people. You can learn so much from observing the behaviors of those around you. One night at dinner, I noticed another couple on a date. It was evident they adored one another. It was mesmerizing. I could not stop watching the couple at the other table. I was captivated by how much fun this couple was having.
Joy is Contagious
Have you ever been out and noticed that one couple that is clearly enjoying each other’s company? They are so cute to watch. You might see that she lightly places her hand on his arm when she talks to him, and he keeps his hand on her knee. They are constantly smiling, laughing, or exchanging loving touches. It is almost as if they do not notice anyone else exists around them. As you watch them, it makes you smile because their joy for each other is contagious.
Play Together, Stay Together
As I observed this couple at dinner, it prompted me to look around at other couples in the room. Some had that same enamored vibe bursting from their tables, and others seemed like strangers, barely exchanging glances or words, let alone any loving touches. It made think. Why the differences? What is it that separates the marriages into such starkly different directions?
The answer to the differences is fun. One group had nurtured the art of “playtime” in the relationship, and the other had allowed the pressures of life suck the joy out of marriage. Why do we fall into the rut of not having fun with each other anymore?
“Big” School is in Session
Kindergartners just can’t wait for the day they start “big” school. When they arrive, everything about it is fun and exciting. Their year mostly consists of coloring and games centered around learning.
Now, fast forward a few years into their academic careers. When the first week of school begins,the kids are again elated to begin. But, after the first week or so, it loses its luster. The “new” has worn off, and it just becomes work. Aside from recess, the fun factor has diminished. Unless the child has a teacher who makes fun a priority, school is just boring work.
The “No Fun Zone”
Marriage is like this. As we grow our families and chase careers, our focus shifts to our responsibilities. “Playtime” finds itself shoved into a box and stored under the bed or hauled up to the attic. Who has time for play, when there is so much to accomplish or take care of? Welcome to the “No Fun Zone.” Marriage is serious business, but are we taking it TOO seriously?
So, are we? I would say that we are not taking it serious enough. If we were, then we would realize that we cannot lose the fun in it.
“The Fun Zone” Instructions
Step One – Make having Fun a Priority
Life is hectic, but our marriages deserve to top the list of importance. We manage to carve out time for all sorts of activities, why not set aside regular time for “date night?” Other fun romance in marriage ideas are to whisk your spouse away on a couples getaway. Or attend one of these fun marriage retreats together.
Dr. Steve Stephens writes in his book Blueprints for a Solid Marriage, “If you wait until it’s simple or convenient, you might have to wait a long time.”
Step Two – Laugh Together Often
Humor is one of the main ingredients to a good marriage. It is what moves us through rough waters. Couples that laugh together, and know how to play, develop a bond that carries them through the difficult moments in life.
Laughter ignites romance, improves intimacy in marriage, and spices up sex in marriage. Plus, experts report that laughter, sex, and exercising offer many of the same health benefits. Who doesn’t want that!
“Laughter is more than just a pleasurable activity…When people laugh together, they tend to talk and touch more and to make eye contact more frequently.” ~Gretchen Rubin Humor
Step Three – Become Best Friends
Best friends stick together. They cheer each other on and accept us unconditionally. We all need that one person we can be authentic with.
Marriage is not a business partnership; it should be a friendship. We will cover more about becoming being your spouse’s best friend in our next blog.
Let’s Go Play
Marriage is and can be enjoyable if we make it a priority to sprinkle ample amount of play and laughter into it. Marriage may be serious business, so is having fun together.