Honor Your Spouse – What Does that Even Mean and How Do We Accomplish it?
That Magic Moment
Weddings are magical moments. Why? Some may say that it is the joy of witnessing two people commit to honor each other in marriage before God. As true as that is, it runs much deeper than that because God is in the house and the couple exchanges powerful declarations.
These covenants leave a lasting impression to all who attend. Sometimes, we witness tear-jerking professions of love from the bride and groom. However, if they are a couple of pranksters, the duo exchange vows that send the onlookers bubbling over with laughter. Whichever happens on that joyful day, one word spoken in the pledge carries a hefty significance. We often overlook this word, and it is is not the one you think.
The Might of a Word
So what is it? What word is so powerful? I bet you think it is “love,” but you would be wrong. It happens to appear in a little phrase that goes a little something like this: “I will love and honor you all the days of my life.” The word is “honor.” Maybe you used this weighty word in your vows, and never considered the power that is unleashed by this five letter word.
The strength in “honor” is in its definition. As defined by Webster, it is as high respect, esteem, and exalted title or rank. In practical terms, that means to recognize the worth of our spouse and decide to cherish them as a treasure they are. Honor instructs us to put our other half ahead of ourselves and others (The only seat higher than our spouse is God). Also, it is giving them the very best version of you, instead of giving that to others. Last, but not least, it is “the little things” that we do every day that builds honor in marriage.
Building honor in a marriage is a mindset, an attitude. It may take some practice, especially when challenges arise. In these moments, it is often difficult to remember the promise we made to hold our spouse in high esteem. When that happens, the last thing we want to do is honor someone who has angered us. We also tend to forget all the wonderful things about them; not on purpose, but because life happens. One great reminder is to keep an “I love you because…” list.
I love you Because…
The “I love you because…” list is a helpful way to remind us of the reasons we love our spouses. It is a living document; meaning it grows over time, but never shrinks. It should contain all the reasons why you love them, the extraordinary things they do or say, or the funny moments you shared together. If it brings a smile to your face, then write it down. Also, record the ways in which they differ from you that you appreciate.
The goal of the “I love you because…” collection is to be readily available so that you can refer to it in the challenging times. It will serve as a tangible reminder when anger floods your emotions of what is wonderful about your spouse. Perhaps, you may even want to tell them something from your list. Send it to them in a text, or write it in a note and give it to them. Begin it with, “I love you because…” and then the reason. Do this until honoring them comes naturally to you again.
The Word is Mightier than the Sword
Words have enormous influence. It is why we recite wedding vows in the first place. When you promise to honor your spouse, you are making a tremendous promise to them, and speaking that over the marriage. Marriage provides us with many opportunities to lose sight of the promise we made to honor our spouses. We must continue to work at it daily and explore ways to respect and honor our husbands and our wives.