How to Increase Affection in Your Marriage

The biggest problems are often the smallest things. Living in a marriage is like everything else in life. We tend to slip into routines that are all about us. It’s the little things that add up. Do you want to increase affection in your marriage? Here’s how you can cultivate it.

1. Understand The Importance

Understand why affection in your marriage is important. Physical and emotional love is a vital part of becoming more intimate with each other. It’s natural to crave affection, especially from our spouses. God made us with the need to belong, and to give and receive love.  

2. Examine Your Background

How much affection did you witness or receive in your childhood? Think about growing up. How did your family express affection, or was it lacking in the home? How did that make you feel? Often, we struggle to increase affection because it was not modeled well in childhood.

Ask God to give you the wisdom to see how your background may influence your marriage. What changes need do I need to make? Challenge the past lies with God’s Truth and commit to change as He leads you. As you take the lead to show more affection, your spouse will as well.

3. Healthy and Unhealthy Needs

Realistic expectations are a key to growing affection in your marriage. Evaluate if your needs are healthy, or unhealthy.

  • Healthy needs include:
  • Being understood
  • Accepted without criticism
  • To be loved
  • Affection (Physical and Emotional)
  • Intimacy
  • Safe (Physical and Emotional)

Ultimately, God is the only one who can meet all your needs. Ask God to show you what you realistically expect from your spouse. Then, pray about the improvements you would like to see and have faith that God will help you.

If you are dealing with unhealthy needs or unrealistic expectations for your marriage, consider working through your issues with a counselor.

4. Give the Gift of Acceptance

One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse and increase affection in your marriage is unconditional acceptance. Accept your spouse without demanding that they meet your idealized expectations. Love them even when they aren’t their best self.

5. Speak Their Language

Learn your spouse’s love language? How do they give and receive love from others? Learning each other’s love language will help you to see when they are showing your affection. Likewise, you can more easily give them the affection they need most.

Increase Affection in Your Marriage

Marriage is like a container. The more you put into it, the sweeter it becomes. Don’t expect dramatic changes overnight, but celebrate progress when it happens. Trust God to help you.

Do you struggle with expressing affection in your marriage? Eagle Family Ministries equips couples with Biblical tools that lead to healthy, successful relationships. Create your dream marriage.