What is there to talk about before getting married? A lot actually! Turns out, there are quite a few topics you should discuss before getting married. Couples who talk about key marital issues and make a plan start off stronger than those who just “wing it.”

Excellent communication skills are a key to a critical healthy relationship. Leslie Doares,  marriage coach and author of Blueprint For A Lasting Marriage states that

“If a couple cannot freely discuss any subject, no matter how personal or difficult, the marriage is going to be a struggle.”

Topics You Should Discuss Before Getting Married

Work through this list of topics you should discuss before getting married. Trouble talking through any of these issues might suggest that a premarital counselor could be helpful to get your marriage off on the right foot. Here is a list of topics you should discuss before getting married.

  1. Describe what commitment means to you as you make plans for your wedding day.
  2. Why are you choosing your partner and what initially attracted you to them?
  3. What do you believe your partner will help you become?
  4. What do you hope to achieve in the near future? How about the distant future?
  5. What emotional support do you expect from a partner in good times and bad?
  6. Do you plan to set aside a date night, or make room for a couples marriage retreat to invest in the relationship?
  7. Are you clear about how much alone time each person needs?
  8. What are your views about work and the appropriate amount of time to invest in a career?
  9. Do you agree on the amount of time spent with friends separately or together?
  10. Do you both expect to support the family financially and will that change when kids arrive?
  11. How will you deal with career, living arrangement, or financial changes?
  12. Do you want kids? If so, then when do you plan to start a family?
  13. How far apart in age do you want them to be?
  14. What religious philosophies or values do you plan to teach them?
  15. How do you intend to discipline them? What do you feel is appropriate and inappropriate.
  16. How will you educate your children? Public? Private? Homeschool?
  17. What are the expectations you each have for spending money on the kids?
  18. How will you handle finances? Will you have separate or joint bank accounts? How about savings? Budget?
  19. In what ways will you resolve disagreements about money?
  20. How much debt do each of you have, and how do you intend to handle that?
  21. What does spirituality mean to you?
  22. Describe the expectations you each have for participation in the church.
  23. What are your expectations about sex in marriage?
  24. Can you work out how to deal with differences in frequency of sexual desire?

While this list is an excellent resource for the topics you should discuss before getting married, many professionals encourage couples to seek premarital counseling. It can help you set realistic expectations, develop conflict resolution skills, improve your communication skills in marriage. In premarital counseling, you work with a therapist to build communication skills and conflict resolution strategies that you carry with you for the life of your relationship.

Premarital Counseling Services

Eagle Family Ministries is passionate about helping couples start their marriage off on the right foot. Steve and Susan Tucker’s education, years of experience, and burden to minister to marriages and families have helped to prepare them to meet the many challenges and opportunities that God has placed before them. Premarital counseling sessions will cover the list of topics you should discuss before getting married, as well as many others. Contact us and start investing in your marriage before walking down the aisle.