Why Should Couples Go to Bed Together?
There are many ways to bulletproof your marriage. Date nights, gratitude, and great communication are a few ways. However, one of the easiest and effective habits is to go to bed together. If you can’t do it every night, do it at least a few times a week.
Going to bed at separate times is more common than you think. Many couples stop going to bed together around three and a half years into the marriage. But couples need to go to bed at the same time. Here’s why.
Why is it Important for Couples to Go to Bed Together?
Connection and intimacy are among some of the reasons that marriages end, especially 10-12 years down the line. Not sleeping together can create loneliness and lead to emotional and physical detachment.
Bedtime for couples is crucial for cuddling and connecting intimately on an emotional and physical level. One research study found that most people feel relaxed and nurtured, and it stimulates feelings of comfort, satisfaction, love, bonding, appreciation, and happiness when they go to bed together.
7 Habits to Start Going to Bed Together Again
Unfortunately, about 75% of couples go to bed at different times for many reasons from, watching tv and phones to clashing work shifts and children. Whatever the reasons, there are some habits you can change to start going to bed together again.
#1 Unplug from flickering devices.
The first step is to unplug from phones, TVs, and computers. Social media scrolling, watching the TV, or reading your favorite online blogs are intrusive for intimacy. It can even make the other person feel you’re in two separate worlds. Plus, it’s jeopardizing your sleep.
Create boundaries together, such as agreeing to not bring phones to bed and no phones, computers, or TV after 9 pm.
#2 Remove the TV from the bedroom.
Many couples make the mistake of having a TV in the bedroom. It’s not only damaging to your sleep health because of the flickering blue light effect, but it can seriously harm your relationship. The light combined with the sounds can interfere with a good night’s rest leading to irritability and tiredness due to lack of proper sleep.
#3 Prioritize sleep.
Make a good night’s rest a priority in your daily routine. Be consistent with when you will go to bed. Engage in some relaxing activities before bed.
#4 Practice gratitude together.
Gratitude and verbal affirmations can have a tremendous impact on your mood and mindset. Take time to share positive experiences with each other and end the night on a positive note.
#5 Address snoring.
One reason many couples don’t go to bed together is snoring. Snoring causes many couples to sleep in separate bedrooms. So, what’s the best way for you to both sleep in the same bed? You could try earplugs, avoiding foods that cause snoring, changing your pillow or sleep position, taking a hot shower before bed, and keeping hydrated throughout the day.
If one of you is a noisy snorer, sleep apnea could be the culprit. If you suspect sleep apnea could be the cause, see a doctor as soon as possible.
# 6 Don’t go to bed angry.
Have you ever wondered what Ephesians 4:26 was all about? Why did God say not to let the sun go down on your anger? One reason is that bitterness can take root. Science concurs that going to sleep with a negative mindset can consolidate unhappy emotions in your brain during sleep and transfer these thoughts to your long-term memory files.
Try to settle disagreements before bedtime. And if it’s too late, set a time to talk about it the next day.
# 7 Keep the kids out of the bedroom.
Your bedroom is your sanctuary. Intimacy doesn’t have to end because you have kids. Couples need boundaries and privacy for emotional and physical connection.
Even though sick kids or nightmares can cause your kids to crawl into bed with you, prioritize intimacy and connection. Encourage your kids to stay in their bedrooms when it’s not an extenuating circumstance.
Healthy Habits Equal a Powerful Marriage
If you desire a powerful marriage, you have to work together to develop healthy habits that strengthen and encourage your marriage to thrive. Going to bed together is just one of these habits. But it’s incredibly effective, and your relationships will reap the benefits.
Do you need help developing healthy habits in your marriage? Our mission at Eagle Family Ministries is to help married couples thrive in their relationship through Biblical principles. Contact us today. 479.464.4442